Super Mario 3D World Vs. Sonic Lost World

If you expected me to review a Sonic game, I can't. Sadly, since the gaming split it's community apart, any observation would be pushed aside by hypocrites, as fans and critics often fight and clash because game sequels or new games just are too much of a step-back that they try to survive on nostalgia alone. However, we all know that Sonic was made based off Speed-Runs of the original Super Mario Bros., as admitted by Sonic's creator, Naoto Oshima. This means the best way to make a review for a Sonic game is to actually compare it to the newer Mario game.

Introducing Super Mario 3D World, a sequel to the acclaimed Super Mario 3D land with elements to the ROM-hack Super Mario 2 USA, Mario Bros. 3, and other past Mario games. While sonic just try to force the color mechanics with-in Sonic lost world with awkward controls,  Mario 3D World blends the elements into a nice alcoholic drink which leaves a nice after-taste instead of bitterness.

The story starts as Mario and team find a new, clear pipe and fix it, finding a pixie queen which enplanes that Bowser is kidnapping them so he could use their power to rule their kingdom. So Mario, Peach, Toad, and our best friend, Luigi, must go out and stop Bowser. This game actually breaks the traditions of the "New" Super Mario Bro. by instead handing out levels like different cakes that would be found at a buffet...Just without the germs or bugs like in Sonic games, which also faced the linearity of Mario games. I think yatzee made a techno remix about it... 

To progress in the game, not only that most of the levels need to be cleared, but you must also collect green stars to be able to go into Boss-forts, defeat the boss, and move on to the next world. The map is actually free-roam somewhat more than the illusion in Lost World. The new cat-power is a nice addition, even though it was made to cash-in from the cat-based Mem' on the internet.It helps reach new areas and even help collect hidden coins and Green Stars.  Sonic DOSE have cut-scenes, but Lost World's mechanics was not well grounded and was only added in because of popularity.

However, even Mario games have small flaws, dispute the game was made by the same developers of the galaxy series. The camera controls where pointless, as those who played Mario games before often knew where to take leaps-of-faiths and when not to from experience. Another issue was the forced integration of  the touch-pad, which can trow off the flow of the game at times. Not as bad as in Lost World, but the issue is still there. Hopefully, we can just play with the pro-controller after a patch is released from Nintendo, whenever they like to or not.

In the long run, even when Sonic might have the advantage in personality, he sadly has the disadvantage to gameplay, as Mario 3D World takes that advantage. Dispute how fun both Mario and Sonic games are in the past, I found Mario 3D World taking the advantage, and sales, over Sonic Lost World. It's nothing personal over the once popular Blue-Blur; like most 90's action heroes: time was NOT on his side. It's because people move on to bigger and better things! For example, a comic fan might like Spider-man as a child, but grow-up loving Batman since of either his One Percent personality from The Animated Series to his edgy side from the comic-book series.

Sorry that it took sometime because, even though I'm a critic, I'm also a human being too. I'm not as robotic as most fan-boys who just eat out of their parent's wallets. Even though that was a bit harsh, I wish you all a Happy Holiday, Merry Christmas, thanksgiving, and so on....and so on...

Earthworm Jim 3D

Now that I mentioned THIS old hero, everyone wounder who's this Earthworm Jim is. No? TOO BAD, this character is a fine example of good game series that died off within time. Some say character like  Mega-man die out, but since he's in the next Smash Bros., that shouldn't count...for now.

 Back in 1995, Earthworm Jim was a hardcore platform shooter where Earthworm Jim must save What-Her-Name (yes, it's a hero parody game, So this is actually her REAL name!) from the clutches of Queen Slug-For-A-But. This game was later rebooted in HD for the Xbox 360, but I would recommend the Special Edition. However! Every version has a different special level, so it dose make collectors try every port of the game for sake. The game series also has it's own brand of humor, and even though it wasn't exactly the first animated game, it was one of the best during the time.

The series also spawned a cartoon series which lasted two seasons. It was a decently, hilarious cartoon that is both for the kids and the kid-at-heart. It also dose some curve-ball humor, but it keeps out of politics as it makes the series dated like in the Mario cartoons. However, it dose some pop-culture parody very well.

Afterward, Earthworm Jim II raised the bar by making the game more fast-pasted while keeping what made Earthworm Jim great. In Earthworm Jim II, Jim finally settles down with What-her-name, but then she gets kidnapped by his evil rival, Psycrow! The game becomes much more diverse as it dose bring new weapons as well as the new helper named Snot. Snot acts an upgraded hook-shot, enabling you to get into new areas Jim can go though normally.  This game dose as an actual sequel is suppose to do.

Which leads to Earthworm Jim 3D, a game that tried to cash-in with the 3d collectithons like Banjo-Kazooie and Mario 64. But that's only part of the problem: The game was NOT even seventy percent done when it was released. A rushed project with many issues that prevented this game from even making returns.  Not only that, but the developer team involved was completely amateur and the development got into an argument with the original team, like the Doom crew's issue, and got Doug and his crew fired and kicked. In the end, it was a complete, commercial failure.

The story is that Jim had an Cow-related incident, since it was a running gag in the cartoons, that sends him to the hospital. He gets stuck in a comma and you have to collect your marble  and collect golden utters to open new areas and to face the memories of the bosses that Eartworm Jim faced in the past; like notes and jiggies  from the Banjo series. We can tell that the staff from Animaniacs and EX-staff from Kids WB had a major fallout since they want to help make the game.

While it maybe not as evil as Superman 64, but it's more like the past example of Ride To Hell: Retribution;  a legal means of torture! Beans pits and sand pit traps which make one trow a N64 controller out the window, bitter humor that is lack-luster, the bugs in small parts, but the worst of all, the least inspired boss fight in history, the marble collection bosses. They are terrible! It's the same copy-and-paste bosses just the boss is annoying as the last. **spoilers** Even the final boss, Jim's feminine side Jin, is just a simple edit over and the same lack-luster-nest!

The saddest thing is that game looked promising from the promotional ads left for events like E3 and the gaming expos. Sadly, Like Duke Nukem Forever, they could not live up to the expectations. What ever happened to such gameplay? Misplaced in the cabinet with the other gameplay, Did Psycrow snatch this as revenge tword Earthworm Jim, or was it because the Scottish fools wanted to cash in on the license? Hell, Even the level designer still in the game industry as he worked on Batmanc Arkam Origin and kept the game in his resume. I just hope it was worth it to him. Then again, if they worked him like how EA works their workers, then have at it, WB games....

Until then, we have to sigh as Earthworm Jim is forced to work with his stupid rival, Boogerman...Which I actually hope his kick-starter FAILS as we don't have to deal with this Nick-toon reject. People would actually defend anything bad these days. And before you say anything, at least I defend the good thing in life!

Vampire: The Masquerade -- Bloodlines

To be honest about myself, I have never played PC games until the later 00's with games like The Sims and the other bad games like Streets of Sim City and Sim chopper, but then I go back and forth because how the systems turn friendly and unfriendly tword the audiences, especially the bloody rivalry toward Work-full Sony and bloody lazy Microsoft, especially using Sony's game-play. Look's like someone became the corporate fat-cat. No offense meant to actually cool cats... Though they fight each other like white raciest twords the black raciest. What a bloody time of politics...

Speaking of blood and blood related issues, I just recently played though Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines, a Duex Ex like game with undead characters, where you play as a new-blood rookie trying to adjust of being a normal vampire...instead of a stupid one. Later, you must help the Masquerade stay masked while honing your survival skills.

I must admit I have both games and I actually prefer Bloodlines over Duex Ex because you don't have to put one eggs in one basket. You can make change your own race, make yourself into a smart ass hacker or a big ass brute -- whichever you like. However, you are stick with one image piece, so custom characters weren't revolutionized until later on in the gaming industry.

Oh, right: before playing the game, you must get the "unofficial" official patch  because the game is actually badly unfinished. You can blame action-vision, as they rushed the project out the door and even closed the developer company that developed the game.  We can tell that they where too focused on modern military shooters than just fun, creative gameplay.

There's a reason the company is in trouble...but not as much as E.A. Luckily, they formed a new company and make THE Fallout series. here's the real kicker: How come they didn't make a werewolf spin-off? They have different breeds as well as their blood-rival were-wolfs which have their own colorful back-stories.

But moving on, while the game plays like Duex Ex, you can preform Blood Magick which drains your blood that is required to living. Then you have to get more blood from humans or just go down to the rat-buffet in the sewers, which is much safer in some scenarios for couple of plot-points in the game.

However, that leads to an odd difficulty curve within the boss fights, as if you are not prepared, you tend to either die or use Mega-Man like exploits to kill the boss. And there are A LOT of bosses, so come prepare. Thankfully, there's a magick trick where you  use your blood as a boomerang to hit your target and, sometimes steal some blood from them. As much as Link uses them to steal hearts in the Zelda series. God, I hope Nintendo doesn't make him a vampire; They already made him a werewolf.

A smart move, even though it can be a issue for speed-runners, is they made the missions linear so to prevent sequence breaking for people who want to know details about the quest. Some missions are ok, but when you know all the back-story and can predict who and what, then things can get somewhat dull.

Another issue is the money system, as they are dated and, even with good bartering, has little pay-back. you can often sell the "evil" human's weapons, but you cannot stack weapons like in the fallout series, where you can carry a huge stack of weapons and sell. I know this game was made when the better-designed interface in gaming where starting to appear, but sometimes you just have to grab them all. (tm)

The last issue is the endings. Yes, there is more than one ending, but some are just a different rendition of the first one. While, yes, the main-ending makes you feel like a total bad ass, the others felt like they where rushed in the last minute. If you guys want the best ending, the only hint I can give you is do NOT trust anyone, some of the fractions aren't even truly trustworthy. While there is one or two ending that is at least different, it dose feel like it's sequel bait.

In the end, Bloodlines is the game that help those disappointed in Duex Ex: Invisible Wars and help remind people how most RPG should be. Those who like Duex Ex and want a good game with a Halloween-type setting, this is a game for you. However, this game is dark and not recommended to squeamish people who have the phobia to blood.  Seems I have more scaring to do

...Mwahahhaha!~

Phatasy Star Online 2

Don't get me wrong Sega; you are still making games, but when it comes with Sonic, not even Mario nor Super Smash Bros. can save him from his demise. Even good characters like Earthworm Jim had to die off just for new characters to show off, even though I must admit that I do miss him. The thing is if you are too focused on a mascot games to be released annually and rushed, then you can expect not making good returns for your little company. However, I know they can make money of Typing of the Dead: Over-kill, if Steam stop over-posting old games just to sell the Steam-Box.

Speaking of which... The best way Sega is making money is the Free-To-Play games, especially games like Spiral Knights. I tried but the micro-transactions for play-time is a real buzz-kill and for it to recharge normally would literately take a day unless YOU BUY for more play time. No thanks, Sega! Until you make a game that you don't have to play for power, for the most part, then I won't play any of your games...hey, whats - ?!

Then, without warning, Phantasy Star Online 2 was released as a Free-To-Play game last year. A sequel successor to a cult-hit Phantasy Star Online for multiple ports from Dreamcast, PC, and the Nintendo Gamecube. Sadly, I never played on the DreamCast servers, but I played on the GamCube servers. Dispute the occasion cheating, Frozen Screen of Deaths, and the deleation of my character data, after finding a safe haven, I had fun. If you are wanting to try the game for yoruself, the final official version is the PSO:BB private servers ran by the fans of Phantasy star.

But, wait. I don't see that game anywhere! How are you playing it? Well, truth be told, I am playing in the Japan servers of the game which also means few English players, though there are a few that understood English...or just people like me who use the unofficial translator, which are ran by Gamespy's PSO-World personal programers. Though, I cannot condone these, as constant as translator tweak programs can sometimes be frowned by outer companies -- However,  some games like Dragon-Ball Z online embrace such mods, so never-flipping-mind...

But back on subject! The game plays somewhat like the Spin-off, Phatasty Star Universe, which was underwhelming to some the classic PSO-fans. However, they refined the controls with Keyboard shortcuts that are shorted by pages because now you can change your class without any cost and as well as your side-class.  In summery, It's old PSO meets refined PSU, which actually works very well.  Thankfully, the game is compatible with ALL types of controllers from 360 to the PS2 USB controller but you do have to juggle from that and the keyboard as well. While this can get use to, some my find that annoying at first before they could adjust. Just make you set everything up as for shortcuts and the new implemented skill-trees.

As for the story, it faces the JRPG issue that it can drag itself out as it's more focused more of an episodic anime than just a normal MMO game. It could be OK to some, but the fact that everything from new stories, new areas, and new weapons take time to come sums up to face the same issues that Phantasy Star Universe has.

Let me help you sum  the story up: Dark Flaz has escaped his tomb once again, but this time, gathered himself his own army of Ex-Arks to become the evil "rangers" to try to destory the Arks as part of his revenge upon the races. Speaking of races, the DUmen are back from the portable series later in season two (...OOPS, SPOILERS) and it's rumored that the beast race might return as well, but I have a feeling they'll be different this time around. There are some more nice additions as well which you have to see for yourself.

Is this the perfect game? Not entirely, as the Free-to-play part of the game is what drags it down, as well as other shenanigans.  For one, there's new stage occurrences called Emergency Codes, which are where some of your experience during your main objective of the map. The problem is that you're at mercy when multiple code: attacks or duels which can leave with some awkward times.

While you can buy things from clothes, weapons, and techs,  Ten-Star Weapons can only be bought with "10* weapon pass" which you can get with point that you have to actually spend money for. Usually, Normal weapons can be found by normal or by getting booster tickets from events to help find rare items, get more experience, get boost in mesta drops, or all the above! Sadly, sometimes the rare-boost tickets aren't that effective, so use them wisely.

If you want to enjoy the game, play this with friends and start your own clan! You can gain points from Team Client Orders so you can build your team and your abilities. You can also get more experience from Client Orders that you can send your assistant, known as machine partner, to run a few of these errand for you. However, they cannot do ALL the client orders as some do require your attention or they can only be done by players only.

Besides all this, I recommend trying this game. Bring your friends over, have them try it, play together, but beware of the spammers, prevs, morons, and fools by clicking on them and adding them to the blacklist system. Play this game as you would with Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon: play for at least one to two hours, assign Client Orders to your partner, then take a break to check on your town to discover your favorite character moved out and left with another man. There's one new tail for the bar-keeper!

...

Oh, before I forget: please help by fighting for this game to come to the west! By fighting for games like these, we show to foreign developers that we are interested in games like these! We managed to get Earthbound on the Nintendo Wii U's Virtual Counsel, so why not this game as well?!

Thanks....

Skull-Girls

Ever since Batman's Arkam series,  It brought me back to the 90's Batman the Animated Series and seen how the term "going down hill" has really hit America from the 00's. The 90's where dated as it was full of bad fads made for America's commercialism to where we bought crap because we had to look cool for the local school kind of thing.

 However, it where in this era of peace where arcades, fighting games, and strong women characters, and art was booming as much as the common baby boomers. Game series like King of Fighter, Darkstalkers, and, last but not least, Street-Fighter 2, and the side scroll-er brother of the game-type. This is where unlockible characters also where popularized by beating challenges or as another character in a certain situation.

Sadly, by today's standards, the fighting games are usually streamlined to the point that button mashers can get away winning fights that logically they cannot win normally, have to buy new characters which are locked in the game itself, thus changing DLC to Disk-locked content, and spin-off after spin-off of the same game, just with all the updates...We're looking at you, Capcom. There's a reason your company  get the "Crap-com" nick-name, especially burning the bridge between Mega-man's main developer and other raciest shenanigans.

If only if there was a game that was a huge love-letter to us fighting game fans that not only improve the mechanic of Marvel vs. Capcom 2 which is also full of pop-culture references and parodies...

Then all the sudden, on the mouth of my birthday, the PC port of skull-girls has finally been unleashed on Steam, which is great since the Live and PlayStation-Network  had always had issues of their own such as the bad lag in the game, which was fixed by NOT using the LIVE system. Instead they use another online system, which I lost the name of, that adjusts the connection so the combatants are at equal internet wavelength. 

While it IS a clone of Marvel vs. Carpcom just with the pure animation of BlazBlue, it feels much more balanced as it has it's own training room WITH training lesson so you can always attend to. As mentioned, the online is the best in the PC port, so for those waiting, this one's for you. And when you do get stuck by Ms. Fortune cornering you with the endless combo, they balanced that with the combo-breaker which breaks the ice in certain situations.

However, the game has only a few character which means more DLC, but at least since it IS from an indie-company who also raised seventy five thousand twords breast-cancer research, I don't really see how anyone can be upset by the partially upset. Well, Maybe some that maybe upset by the "boob-lady" design, dispite their age, but that was a thing in the 90's and even today's gaming. I do see this being a problem in today since parents are lacking in the parenting department. Ironic, but it is since they could never fully concept on Humanity, Humility, or even both. Which is WHy batman existed in the first place.

But after all is said and done, I HIGHLY recommend Skull-girls for the classic fighting game, even though the design choice is sorta odd and sorta prevy. I often practice the game as Ms. fortune as the undead cat-girl is a slight veriation of wolverine's female "sidekick."  If there's anything I can give a hint on is stick with a combo that works for you, but always come back to see what can be improved.

And on a side-note, I did not sleep with that woman!  She is a respectable character who I highly admire for, therefor any advances I make is for her personal gain and not mine. And for god's sake, you are not getting fat; that's just lean mussels that is forming in your body from you fighting the mobsters and from all that stretching.

That is all.

Goodnight from your president!~

Bloody "Good" Time

Now I know I probably didn't see eye to eye with pokemon fans since the last review, but like yatzee and the last of us, I didn't want to dislike Pokemon Black and White. The game just didn't scratch my pokemon itch unlike Pokemon X which brings back the original formula, plus somewhat new mega mechanics. So to ease the tension, I have to show that every game series has their weakest point in their saga. For instants, please pick up the designated baseball bat, fallow me, and bash the hell of this bad game...but maybe we should have a look back to help justify this rage.

Before A Bloody Bad Time, the development team made The Ship, a multi-player game that is The Sims meet Hitman! In this game, you are issued a target but you are also being hunted by your own little stalker that wants to kill you as well. Sounds like my love life in a nut shell. Anyways, You get points by killing your target and by killing your hunter as well. While this sounds easy at first, you have your needs to concern, you and your target can change into other clothes and disguises, and if you're not careful, while using the can, shower, or even in your sleep, you can be eliminated by your "fan."  While yes, there is the one ship, a big fan-base did come back to help the game by adding new maps and it works since it's runs on source and steam's main system, which can be easily modded.

Now, because the idea of the game was good, Ubisoft bought the developers and started using them in Assassin Creed's Multiplayer, a streamlined version of The ship that works because like The ship it's surprisingly peaceful. you have a silent moment, a hint beeper which beeps when your hunter is near by, which adds tension when it's needed, and plus you no longer have to settle your needs, though that would have been hilarious if they found a way to keep them. However, they kept the disguises and it works to trow everyone off guard if you play your part very well. Plus, I find it funny if someone gets killed by the blacksmith when he's dressed as the gentleman since I though TotalBisket was murdering someone in public to vent his justified rage.

Sorry, back on subject...

But now to point out the big purple elephant in the franchise... A bloody bad time was the black sheep of the series. For one, it wasn't well grounded. It wanted to be something current but at the same time it wanted to streamline game-play of The Ship and it suffers for it. Part of the problem is it's wasn't truly anything new; all the game just did was subtracted from the ship both good and bad.

 Basically, if you play both the Amnesia games, you can tell where this review is going. They have only four necessities, which was good, but they took The Ship's mechanics and turned it for the worse. For example, back on the ship the guard mechanics was well balanced as you can bribe the guards to look the other way and if they caught you, they send you to jail. In A Bloody Bad Time, they steal your weapon, they don't take bribes, and they can be exploited for free kills. But the most damning is the new weapon is the camcorder, which steals points from other players.

The weapon is broken as you cannot kill the recorder since they're considered innocent, but the weapon can be picked up constantly and abused by other players. The game is very antagonistic and the game system is not well implemented to the point that Ubi refused to give the game or the ship a sequel. When the game gets THAT BAD, you know you did something WRONG!

If you have friends, get the ship. If you don't, Get assassin creed 4. If you want to torture yourself, there are better games for that: Spin the bottle with ugly people...Then again, that's how my friend found his first love. Ok, Im sorry...BAD JOKE!~

Pokemon X/Y

Before we get down to the review, I have to make this clear: I was underwhelmed by Pokemon B/W because, even though the story had it's moments, I found it redundant as it pressed on the story on duality while other games and cartoons has done a better job. (alla, Jackie chan adventures compared to Kung Fu panda's American-fication TV series)

Another issue the game had was that it tossed out the best pokemon just to show out the new designs, which some where very uncreative. Really? Ice cream cones? keys? two Martial-arts pokemon that look like something out of sesame street? GOOD LORD, I know that you're aiming for children, but the game is more enjoyed by teenagers, as some the poke-dex entries are way too dark for children to read. Sure, N my be a charming character, but need I have to remind you that he's a tool used by his father just for world domination? That and the pop-culture references where mostly used just to appease the current pokemon fans. It's like having a porn star guess-star in a children's show....(Bad example?)

While the game dose the smart thing by introducing the new TM/Hm system, some new features where pointless and, some may argue, needless as the oddly placed gyms, bitter after-game bonuses, and the trade system so flawed, you can named the pokemon after another pokemon to mess the global-trade system--Talk about sticking it to the man, or in this case, Mon!

This leads me to Pokemon X and Y: The ruby and sapphire of this generation!~ For one they only added plus fifty new pokemon, but they thankfully the classic ones has returned as well. There is a new type of pokemon called fairy: the gay sister of physic that can nuke dragons and fighting, but is weak to posion and steel. In a way, It dose look as the game needs balancing as fighting and dragon type seem to be the weakest of this generation. I can see that the type was made for the female demographic, but these days they are more attracted to the tall, handsome, and dark-type pokemon...So Nintendo and PKMN inc. are kinda missing the point.

Thankfully the story is actually very nice....AND villains are actually more in ture to the original gangsters, team rocket, as well as the casual James bond villains. The story is actually much better, as it's about the mistake of man and the hopes that history won't repeat itself again. Kinda sad when you compare it to today's society as they are money-hungry rich people who just want to stay rich. Sure, it's the copy-and-paste story of pokemon, but that what the series is known fore. If you want a different pokemon game, try the Gamecube series, as the story-tone is much out-of-the-box experience that ones  where hoping for.

Unfortunately, dispute the advertizing of the Mega-Evolutions, only a few are selected, only two trainers you face also uses them, and the stones are available post game, which is a disappointment.  I know they just figured out the technology, but when you give us a solution of no real problems, then the solution becomes the problem itself and thus becomes a paradox!

However, the new online feature is nice: I get to see passer-byes who are also on the way of training, Gyms, other breeder, people who want to trade and also adds a new trade system called Wounder-trade, which trade a selected random pokemon trade to get another random pokemon. The problem is one can get garbage for garbage. Sometimes you're better off just releasing the pokemon, but sometimes you do get the random good pokemon and catching them all literately became easier. However, the problem is that they are close yet far away. I guess you could get a chat-room, but you would also attracted the UN-wanted brats that question your job as a reviewer.

While the cartoon-y, cute graphics are nice, the 3D is broken for a good reason: how big the game is--6000 blocks. Thats about a normal computer game size, so when the 3D works well, it's nice, but during some battles, it dose cause the lag. If Nintendo put a stronger processor or even a cooling fan in their technology, this wouldn't have happen. By god, I seen third party 3D games that ran better with the 3D on. However, I think part of it was to sell the unwieldy 2DS, the system made for handicapped people...

But as I said, this game is more like Ruby and Sapphire series than HeartGold and SoulSilver, so this game basically dose what is suppose to do: define how the pokemon series was suppose to be...UNLIKE BLACK AND WHITE who was made just to take your money just to feed their spoiled, fatten children. Pokemon X/Y is a nice entry of the Pokemon series, which I like.

Sadly, Pokemon probably won't last forever like their rival (...digimon -_-; bleh.) because they made so many new pokemon and they'll probably make so much they not even the company can hold those creatures up. It's best to enjoy them before they implode on themselfs from either the pokemon they made or their money. At least they'll go out in a blaze of glory instead of wishing for death like the Simpsons or Family Guy which will go out in a sad whisper. And at least I manage to write this review before eventually passing out mentally because my asburgers hit the writer's block...which is ironic because it what keeps me up at night!