Earthworm Jim 3D

Now that I mentioned THIS old hero, everyone wounder who's this Earthworm Jim is. No? TOO BAD, this character is a fine example of good game series that died off within time. Some say character like  Mega-man die out, but since he's in the next Smash Bros., that shouldn't count...for now.

 Back in 1995, Earthworm Jim was a hardcore platform shooter where Earthworm Jim must save What-Her-Name (yes, it's a hero parody game, So this is actually her REAL name!) from the clutches of Queen Slug-For-A-But. This game was later rebooted in HD for the Xbox 360, but I would recommend the Special Edition. However! Every version has a different special level, so it dose make collectors try every port of the game for sake. The game series also has it's own brand of humor, and even though it wasn't exactly the first animated game, it was one of the best during the time.

The series also spawned a cartoon series which lasted two seasons. It was a decently, hilarious cartoon that is both for the kids and the kid-at-heart. It also dose some curve-ball humor, but it keeps out of politics as it makes the series dated like in the Mario cartoons. However, it dose some pop-culture parody very well.

Afterward, Earthworm Jim II raised the bar by making the game more fast-pasted while keeping what made Earthworm Jim great. In Earthworm Jim II, Jim finally settles down with What-her-name, but then she gets kidnapped by his evil rival, Psycrow! The game becomes much more diverse as it dose bring new weapons as well as the new helper named Snot. Snot acts an upgraded hook-shot, enabling you to get into new areas Jim can go though normally.  This game dose as an actual sequel is suppose to do.

Which leads to Earthworm Jim 3D, a game that tried to cash-in with the 3d collectithons like Banjo-Kazooie and Mario 64. But that's only part of the problem: The game was NOT even seventy percent done when it was released. A rushed project with many issues that prevented this game from even making returns.  Not only that, but the developer team involved was completely amateur and the development got into an argument with the original team, like the Doom crew's issue, and got Doug and his crew fired and kicked. In the end, it was a complete, commercial failure.

The story is that Jim had an Cow-related incident, since it was a running gag in the cartoons, that sends him to the hospital. He gets stuck in a comma and you have to collect your marble  and collect golden utters to open new areas and to face the memories of the bosses that Eartworm Jim faced in the past; like notes and jiggies  from the Banjo series. We can tell that the staff from Animaniacs and EX-staff from Kids WB had a major fallout since they want to help make the game.

While it maybe not as evil as Superman 64, but it's more like the past example of Ride To Hell: Retribution;  a legal means of torture! Beans pits and sand pit traps which make one trow a N64 controller out the window, bitter humor that is lack-luster, the bugs in small parts, but the worst of all, the least inspired boss fight in history, the marble collection bosses. They are terrible! It's the same copy-and-paste bosses just the boss is annoying as the last. **spoilers** Even the final boss, Jim's feminine side Jin, is just a simple edit over and the same lack-luster-nest!

The saddest thing is that game looked promising from the promotional ads left for events like E3 and the gaming expos. Sadly, Like Duke Nukem Forever, they could not live up to the expectations. What ever happened to such gameplay? Misplaced in the cabinet with the other gameplay, Did Psycrow snatch this as revenge tword Earthworm Jim, or was it because the Scottish fools wanted to cash in on the license? Hell, Even the level designer still in the game industry as he worked on Batmanc Arkam Origin and kept the game in his resume. I just hope it was worth it to him. Then again, if they worked him like how EA works their workers, then have at it, WB games....

Until then, we have to sigh as Earthworm Jim is forced to work with his stupid rival, Boogerman...Which I actually hope his kick-starter FAILS as we don't have to deal with this Nick-toon reject. People would actually defend anything bad these days. And before you say anything, at least I defend the good thing in life!

Vampire: The Masquerade -- Bloodlines

To be honest about myself, I have never played PC games until the later 00's with games like The Sims and the other bad games like Streets of Sim City and Sim chopper, but then I go back and forth because how the systems turn friendly and unfriendly tword the audiences, especially the bloody rivalry toward Work-full Sony and bloody lazy Microsoft, especially using Sony's game-play. Look's like someone became the corporate fat-cat. No offense meant to actually cool cats... Though they fight each other like white raciest twords the black raciest. What a bloody time of politics...

Speaking of blood and blood related issues, I just recently played though Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines, a Duex Ex like game with undead characters, where you play as a new-blood rookie trying to adjust of being a normal vampire...instead of a stupid one. Later, you must help the Masquerade stay masked while honing your survival skills.

I must admit I have both games and I actually prefer Bloodlines over Duex Ex because you don't have to put one eggs in one basket. You can make change your own race, make yourself into a smart ass hacker or a big ass brute -- whichever you like. However, you are stick with one image piece, so custom characters weren't revolutionized until later on in the gaming industry.

Oh, right: before playing the game, you must get the "unofficial" official patch  because the game is actually badly unfinished. You can blame action-vision, as they rushed the project out the door and even closed the developer company that developed the game.  We can tell that they where too focused on modern military shooters than just fun, creative gameplay.

There's a reason the company is in trouble...but not as much as E.A. Luckily, they formed a new company and make THE Fallout series. here's the real kicker: How come they didn't make a werewolf spin-off? They have different breeds as well as their blood-rival were-wolfs which have their own colorful back-stories.

But moving on, while the game plays like Duex Ex, you can preform Blood Magick which drains your blood that is required to living. Then you have to get more blood from humans or just go down to the rat-buffet in the sewers, which is much safer in some scenarios for couple of plot-points in the game.

However, that leads to an odd difficulty curve within the boss fights, as if you are not prepared, you tend to either die or use Mega-Man like exploits to kill the boss. And there are A LOT of bosses, so come prepare. Thankfully, there's a magick trick where you  use your blood as a boomerang to hit your target and, sometimes steal some blood from them. As much as Link uses them to steal hearts in the Zelda series. God, I hope Nintendo doesn't make him a vampire; They already made him a werewolf.

A smart move, even though it can be a issue for speed-runners, is they made the missions linear so to prevent sequence breaking for people who want to know details about the quest. Some missions are ok, but when you know all the back-story and can predict who and what, then things can get somewhat dull.

Another issue is the money system, as they are dated and, even with good bartering, has little pay-back. you can often sell the "evil" human's weapons, but you cannot stack weapons like in the fallout series, where you can carry a huge stack of weapons and sell. I know this game was made when the better-designed interface in gaming where starting to appear, but sometimes you just have to grab them all. (tm)

The last issue is the endings. Yes, there is more than one ending, but some are just a different rendition of the first one. While, yes, the main-ending makes you feel like a total bad ass, the others felt like they where rushed in the last minute. If you guys want the best ending, the only hint I can give you is do NOT trust anyone, some of the fractions aren't even truly trustworthy. While there is one or two ending that is at least different, it dose feel like it's sequel bait.

In the end, Bloodlines is the game that help those disappointed in Duex Ex: Invisible Wars and help remind people how most RPG should be. Those who like Duex Ex and want a good game with a Halloween-type setting, this is a game for you. However, this game is dark and not recommended to squeamish people who have the phobia to blood.  Seems I have more scaring to do

...Mwahahhaha!~